I have retreated back into myself. The back burners are cooking away. But I think it's all ok. Christmas break will be interesting. I'll just be here. No Canada. No week long trips anywhere. Just Hattiesburg, for a solid month. A little depressing, maybe I'll finally read something. Maybe I will learn a language.

I'm realizing that I am a private person. I like to talk and share things, and I definitely like to unleash my thoughts, but lately I have been so unwilling to do it. I guess that is based on trust issues and the lack of interest to have myself vulnerable to misunderstandings and emotonal lava spills.

I need a haiku for my movement analysis class. We have to create a dance phrase and motif it (write it out with our labanotation). The phrase must be based on a haiku. The instructor has given us a list of haikus to choose from, but we can use other ones. So I am on the search now for a better haiku. I know nothing about how to write them... 5-7-5, but what to do with that is another question.

5-7-5 but what

to do with that

is another question

(is that a haiku?)

I'm tired and so ready to not be a college student anymore. Even though my plan is nothing close to clear after graduation in another 2 summers, I am ready to face it with my uncertaintity and dive in boldly.

It is funny. My friends and I were asking eachother these 'tabletalk' questions and some best-worst hypothetical questions last night, and there were a lot of relationship questions. And the idea that kept lashing its face in my head was, if I knew beforehand that my marriage was going to be mediocre, with a man I did not love or understand, lacking communication skills, would I still get married? A tough thought. If I knew that my spouse would abruptly turn into a completely different person (for the worst) after the first year of marriage, would I still say yes? Not that I have potentials floating around me at the time. No boyfirend in sight. But I am scared. I hate how observant and perceptive I am, because it ends up just intensifying my fear to move on and just live.